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          Muffin, once Hoisted, now Heisted.

Charlotte, N.C.–Late last week, somewhere between the hours of 10 PM and 7 AM, a frosted blueberry muffin was stolen from the parking lot of the Bloom supermarket in Greer, S.C. The police have been notified. A reward is offered.

The muffin, four feet tall, 175 lbs., and having once “fallen” from a billboard onto a parked car, was judged the best retail outdoor advertising of 2005 (Outdoor Advertising Ass’n. of America Retail OBIE winner). Since then it has been touring Bloom parking lots, where shoppers have lined up for free photos next to what has become the supermarkets’ signature product. (Local entertainment choices, we have been told, are limited.)

The muffin has now disappeared, in what must have been an orchestrated robbery. Several strong men are required to lift the plastic muffin, and it will not fit in an autombile. A cash reward and a year’s free muffins (smaller than the missing one, though) have been offered for information leading to its return. The Greer police are working on the case.